Sept. 12 - Loving Kindness

Day 254 of a year of kindness 

Kindness ambassador #32, eLayne Kelley, shared the kindness practice she uses to heal from the ending of a friendship.

I am working on forgiveness after a 50-year-long friendship ended in a really yucky way. Not only was I shocked at the person's behavior, but I was mad at myself for not having better boundaries that allowed a toxic relationship to go on for so long.

What can make letting go of the internal dialogue that persists long after crappy endings? I’m relying on Metta, the Buddhist practice of loving kindness, which cultivates an attitude of love and kindness towards oneself and others.It's a simple practice. 

A typical Metta Prayer starts with phrases like, "May I be safe, may I be happy, may I be healthy, may I be at peace" for oneself, then extends these wishes to friends, acquaintances, difficult people, and ultimately to all living beings everywhere.I substituted the "I" and inserted the name of the person I ended the friendship with. 

It helped me remember she hadn't always been safe in her youth and because of her upbringing, she didn't always have peace. I was able to see past my hurt and give grace, empathy, and understanding to another human being, no matter our current relationship.

My hurt and mental rehashing of our ending has quieted. If my thoughts go back to unconstructive inner dialogue, I remember the Metta Prayer and am armed with kindness and compassion, which once again quiets my mind.

Science of Kindness: Science reveals that sometimes you can transform pain into grace, which is one of the highest forms of self-compassion and kindness. #bekind #kindnessisfree #selfcompassion.