June 19 - Birthday Compliment Cards

Day 170 of a year of Kindness

Today is my daughter Katie’s birthday. She has made me laugh so many times when, in the middle of an argument when she is on my last nerve (as they say in the south), she will look at me sweetly and say, “What are three things you like about me?” So, instead of writing my usual birthday wishes for Katie, I wrote the 10 Compliment Birthday Card.

It reminded me of an assignment I gave college students to compliment three people they love. It was so extraordinary for loved ones (the Moms were really incredulous) to get compliments from their kids that most asked what they wanted.

The goal of the assignment was to spread some kindness and understand the science around compliments. In an interesting twist, if you don’t receive the compliment (this old thing?) you deprive the person of happiness chemicals - so you both lose out. That’s why it is important to accept a compliment. My daughter loved all of her compliments, and I may just send out 10 Compliment Birthday Cards on a regular basis!

Science of kindness: Research shows that giving and getting a compliment lights up the brain with “happiness chemicals,” which include dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, and oxytocin. In fact, the brain responds to compliments the same way it responds to getting money. Giving a compliment is like giving someone $5. It has the same impact. #bekind #kindnessiscontagious #kindnessisfree #kindness #complimentsarefree #youarewonderful