July 28 - Saying Yes
Day 208 of a year of KindnessKindness ambassador number #9, Glenn Miller, is a journalist and an educator who knows how to get to the heart of kindness.
I had to say yes. I could not say no.
It was a moral imperative.Kathy Grey told me about Francesca’s kindness mission and the quest to deliver flowers to a nursing home resident who rarely receives visitors.My 94-year-old mom, Charlotte, suffers from profound, all-encompassing, all-debilitating dementia.
She has resided in a Dunedin nursing home for more than three years. In all that time she has not gone a day without a visitor. Maybe me. My sister, Karen. My brother, David. My Uncle Don, her little brother. The little brother is 84.Always.Every dayFor maybe 1,100 or so days. We’ve never missed. I was there this morning.
But I know the facility has residents there who aren’t blessed with that daily devotion and love. Flowers to the nursing home? I had to say yes. I could not say no.
I see the other residents, They are like mom. In wheelchairs. Oblivious to the wider world. Incontinent. Immobile. Stuck in a prison of dementia. The facility has a common room with a very large TV with access to all sorts of entertainment options. Whatever is on the TV doesn’t seem to register with the residents. They don’t laugh at comedies or weep at tearjerking movies or cheer for a sports team. Any gesture of kindness would on some level be appreciated.
Whoever received the flowers could not articulate thanks but on some level the kindness would penetrate that fog of dementia. I know that. Or at least believe that.
I had to say yes. I could not say no.
Yes, we live in a country where millions revel in petty cruelty and cruel pettiness. Many of our fellow Americans view kindness, empathy and compassion with sneering disdain and withering contempt. I don’t think that way. It may be quaint but kindness is a virtue.
So, on this steamy Florida July Sunday morning I drove to a nearby Publix and purchased a bouquet of flowers.I don’t know nothin’ about flowers but I liked the colors and figured whatever kind of flowers they are would do. I took them into mom’s room and waited for a nurse named Linda, who has been working in these facilities for 44 years. I used to say I wouldn’t last five minutes in her job. I was giving myself too much credit. I would not last one minute doing what Linda does.
I told Linda yesterday about the kindness mission. She said she would see the flowers got to a resident. I didn’t ask for a name or particulars. She didn’t offer any. I know there are rules against such an intrusive query. So, at this moment, some lonely old man or woman has a fresh and colorful bouquet of flowers in his or her room.
Science of Kindness: Research shows that Alzheimer patients can experience joy from flowers. It also reveals that a family who visits their mother 1,100 days in a row should receive a bouquet of flowers every day for that profound act of kindness. #kindness #kindnessisfree #kindessmatters #family #Alzheimer's #joyofflowers
