July 16 - Simple Kindnesses

Day 196 of a year of Kindness

Today I heard from an old friend who has been following my year of kindness. She asked if I could share some kindness ideas for someone in her office who recently lost their spouse. Her colleague is so sad, and she wants to help her.

I know someone very well who recently lost a spouse and returned to work. So, I called him and shared her question. He thought about it and said: “The simple kindnesses carried so much weight.”

He appreciated the flowers the office sent and the card sitting on his desk with everyone’s signature. But what helped him even more, what continues to help him, are the small kindnesses. Someone asking if they could grab him a coffee while they run out and get one. The colleague who continues to ask him out to lunch after he’s said no the first five times but wants to go the sixth time. Someone just checking in and asking how he is doing.

He said that people often don’t know what to say so they don’t say anything. But it helps to have the loss acknowledged even if the person just says they are sorry.

Also, it’s common to ask someone deep in grief if they need anything but often they don’t know what they need. So, it’s helpful just to offer concrete help - like bring food, drop off a book, show up for a walk etc.If anyone else has ideas about how to help a colleague after a tragedy, please share. I know my friend would love to hear them.

Science of kindness: Research shows being kind to someone who is grieving helps them feel supported and understood. It also provides comfort, which is crucial during a time of profound loss. It also helps prevent feelings of isolation, which can be a significant challenge for those grieving. #bekind #kindnessiscontagious #kindnessisfree #kindness