August 8 - Moving Forward

Day 219 of a year of Kindness
Kindness ambassador #20, Carlie Judd Hardy, is kind to herself after making a major life decision to leave the Mormon Church. (I'm helping edit her upcoming book about this decision and its impact on her life.)

I don’t blame other people anymore. It’s the kindness that I do for myself daily after leaving the Mormon Church.

I’ve reclaimed my own voice and work hard to keep the victim voice at bay. And it’s tricky, because the victim voice can sneak up on you. Most of us have been conditioned to see ourselves as victims without even realizing it. Life happens, we feel slighted or hurt, and we start pointing fingers—at the Church, our parents, our families, our past, the universe. It feels natural. It even gets us sympathy.

But I’m learning that staying in that victim space drains my energy. It keeps me stuck - waiting for someone else to change so I can feel okay. It actually leaves me powerless.I look at my life from a new viewpoint. I ask what’s right about my life today? What is going right in my relationships with my children? What habits did I learn as a Mormon that have enriched my life? What new things do I want to learn this week?

I’m moving out of victim mode and leaning into creator mode. This shift - this kindness to myself - has made me happier than I have ever been.

Science of Kindness: Research reveals that avoiding the victim mentality fosters a sense of empowerment and self-control. It allows individuals to take responsibility for their actions and decisions, which can lead to personal growth and a more positive outlook on life. One can also avoid the cycle of negativity and self-pity that often accompanies this midneset. Instead, one can focus on positive changes and opportunities for improvement, leading to a more fulfilling and empowered life. #kindness #kindnessisfree #kindessmatters #empowerment #selfcompassion